Monday, January 16, 2012

Going Back From Whence We Came

I really don't know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it's because in addition to the fact that the sea changes, and the light changes, and ships change, it's because we all came from the sea. And it is an interesting biological fact that all of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, our sweat, and in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it, we are going back from whence we came.~John F. Kennedy

Today I went to the sea. The sight and sound of the water relentlessly, so effortlessly rolling on to the shore was relaxing, calming, and healing. Sitting on the beach gazing into the vastness of the water, a reminder that there is something bigger than myself out there, was exactly what I needed. I sat there for several hours watching, reading, journaling. I felt like myself again, which is a feeling that has been evading me for some time. I suppose going to the ocean is where I will go now when I need to reconnect with myself, to find peace and comfort, to remember that I am a part of something greater. 

Its been hard for me to write here. I struggle with how much I want to share, how much I can share. As most of you know, once you fall out of the practice of writing daily its hard to start again. Really hard. I worry that what I write won't appeal to anyone, that if I'm not always positive people will stop reading, and so on. Today I realized, it doesn't matter. I started writing on this blog for me and somewhere along the way I lost that. Maybe a part of it is that I've been afraid to write. The truth has a way of coming out through words and parts of me are afraid to admit that everything isn't ok and that some days are really a struggle to just put one foot in front of the other. 

In a way, I'm going back from whence we came. I'm working harder to find the missing pieces that make life full, to ride out the tumultuous waves of life until I find my way again to peaceful waters. I'm positive I'll be making pilgrimages back to ocean, a physical reminder that life and the world we live in are so immense.  The natural ebb and flow of the waves mirrors the natural ebb and flow of life. The reminder that nothing is constant and there is great peace that comes from knowing that.