Monday, September 23, 2013

Learning Lessons

I've always had to learn things the hard way. I continually do things the hard way, it’s just my nature. If someone tells me how to do something, its highly likely that I’ll find another way to do I, just for spite. This also includes learning lessons, big life lessons that were there glaring me right in the face, that I blatantly ignored. While I champion others to stand up for themselves without backing down, to ask for what they need, etc. sometimes I forget to do that for myself.

Lately there has been an issue with a close friend who is also a co-worker. The issue is more mine than his as I haven’t been standing up for myself. A few months ago the line between the kindness of friendship and being taken advantage of was crossed; I vowed to not let it happen again.

Only I did.

The second time, the situation was entirely my fault and while I want to rant and rave, I also need to take responsibility that I offered something I wasn’t fully prepared to give up (in this case a vacation day).

The first time that line kindness/advantage line was crossed I was upset. The second time, it was a wake-up call that I should likely do some re-evaluating. Not only re-evaluations of the friendship; but also some internal re-evaluations as to why I feel the need to apologize for something I’ve earned or feel badly for requesting something I am just as entitled too as someone else. Or even why I feel its ok to compromise myself for someone who likely wouldn’t do the same for me.

I hate how learning this lessons made me feel. Its made me feel frustrated, angry, vulnerable, and sad. All feelings I could routinely do without. What's worse is knowing that its my fault. 

Lesson learned. The hard way.

Note to self: Don’t let it happen again.

How do you deal with a situation when the line between kindness and being taken advantage of has been crossed? What if that someone who crosses that line is someone you consider a close friend?