A few days ago, 2012 turned to 2013 without much fanfare. I
wasn’t sorry to see 2012 end, it was by no means banner year, but it was one of
those years that pushed my beliefs, challenged my ways of thinking, and through
that changed me in ways I didn’t expect. 2012 made me more confident in the
person I am and left me feeling more vulnerable than ever while battling a
depression. It turned me into a more compassionate person while causing me to
be less sympathetic in other areas of life. It was the year I called a time out
to a large degree in many areas of life – I stopped writing regularly on my
blog, stopped sending notes to friends. I spent the first half of the year
frantically searching for a way back home and the second half catching up on
everything I felt like I missed out on during the first several months. It saw
me leave a job and a place I loathed only to return home to a new job that I love.
I tried to find one word to define what I hope to manifest in
2013. I’ve thrown many out there – connection, passion, strength, peace. In the
end I can’t pick just one.
I want to be better about connecting with myself through my
writing both here on my blog and through journaling. In the past months I’ve
all but stopped both and I miss putting my thoughts into words that mean
something, represent a piece of my soul. I want to connect with friends – bet better
about sending notes and emails, planning times to just see friends, strengthening
relationships I have while making new ones. Now that I’ve decided this is my
place, I need to seek out ways to connect with new people, find new ways to
fill my days.
Writing and reading are two of my passions. I enjoy doing
both. This is the year I need to get serious about grad school – applying,
going, and working toward the next step professionally, with a healthy dose of
personal goals combining all of that. I’ve dabbled in freelance before but this
year I want to do more, work more with my writing, really sharpening my skills
and talents.
Strength for all the tough times I’ve yet to endure. Last
year tested my mental and emotional strength like never before. Honestly, I was
broken and beaten the first half. With the help of a therapist and close
friends who had also battled depression, I slowly built that strength back up, twisting
and turning all the broken pieces into a new way that made sense and worked.
Helping to care for a parent who suffered a major medical event and now has
many special needs is anything but easy. Most days I need more strength and patience
than what I have to help care for my stepdad while my mom seems to have endless
amounts of both, or at the very least, much more than I do.
Peace is an appropriate word for a variety of reasons. I
always strive to have an inner peace – to keep my soul and mind at ease with
how I’m living my life and peace to know that the decisions I make are the
right ones for me, right now, at this moment.
Do you have words for the year that you use to manifest and
reflect upon? What are some of your goals for 2013?
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3 comments:
I'm so sorry that this was such a hard year for you, Mandy! Depression is one of those monsters that can take over everything & I'm glad you're on the other side. It sounds like 2013 will be a gentler year with more community & support- that's what I'm hoping for too! We should make a Skype date to reconnect and make one off our resolutions start strong for both of us :)
2012 was quite the year for you, but I am confident that it has only made you stronger! I know 2013 is going to be banner year for you now that you are in a happier place with more support around you!
I hope you keep writing, because I love your writing style!
Wow it sounds like you and I had a very similar 2012. I have a very similar mentality and approach for 2013 and I know it's going to be a better year for us both. Cheers to us friend.
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