Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Revelation

I spent the long weekend with family and friends, relaxing, cooking out, and exploring a whole world of "what ifs" over and over in my head. I haven't shared much in the past few weeks about my job search other than the fact that I had an interview in DC a few weeks ago. What I didn't tell you was that I also had a telephone interview with a university in Georgia. A single phone call that blindsided me, tipping my world and left me with a feeling that I can't quite describe. 

When I pictured my life in the near future, I saw it unfolding in DC, in the shadow of the Washington Monument, the National Mall as my playground among the other monuments. Going back to Washington, DC has been my goal, what I've worked for and focused on for a really long time. And now, when it seems to be on the verge on actually happening.....I don't want it anymore.

 via

You see, after that phone call from Georgia, I felt an amazing sense of peace and hopefulness, a calmness I haven't had for a long time. I could immediately picture myself there, long term. I had a feeling, one that seemed to be emanating from the pit of my stomach, making a life in Georgia just seem so right. Its been all I've been able to think about and suddenly, its all that I want.

It doesn't make sense to me and I'm sure I'm not being articulate enough to share the depth of those thoughts properly. Nothing about this feeling makes sense, I'm supposed to want to go DC. I have family there and would be moving into an amazing network of friends and acquaintances. Its only five hours away from my hometown, making visits home fairly easy. I only know a few people in Georgia and its twice as far away from home. I've tried to shake this feeling, to lose this strong instinct, but I can't. I know there is something to my life story, my life book, that I'm supposed to uncover and live out there.

Its amazing, astonishing, and sometimes downright frustrating how quickly my world shifted. I no longer feel like DC is the place that I'm supposed to be and if I do end up there soon, it will only be temporary. A stop on the way to what my heart really desires, a layover on my life journey. When I was mulling these new thoughts over with some close friends and family, they told me they had a feeling about me and Georgia too, that while I might go to DC and love it, they don't see me there long term. I can't tell you how surprised and confused I am by all these feelings, but I know I have to follow my gut and my heart, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Edited: I haven't received an offer from either location, I wouldn't turn down a job offer from DC but now my bigger goal is to get myself to Georgia.