Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What A Difference A Year Makes

Winter is the most difficult time of the year for me, particularly the months of February and March. Those two months here in Ohio have the potential to be brutally cold winter months that make my surroundings depressing and barren, making me think that spring will never arrive. Sometimes, for me, the winter blues to slip into something scarier and much harder to shake. This time last year, I became an incredibly unhappy shell of myself who spent more time trying to find the strength to fake a smile and convince people that I was fine then I did addressing the fact that I was teetering on the edge of a dark place. And that scared me. I found someone to talk with, took action, and by mid-spring my mental and emotional health was back in balance.

Knowing that last year was such a struggle, I was much more prepared and equipped to deal with any unhappy thoughts or feelings that tried to take hold of me. I knew to be on the look out for little signs before they snowballed into much bigger issues. I've been kinder to myself and have been doing a better job of managing stress. Balancing work and play has been a priority. I've started giving myself for pep talks usually reserved for my friends, the ones that start with "you can do this, I believe in you..." and I truly believe that.

Maybe it was the remarkable double rainbow I saw reflecting in the clouds on the commute home from work the other evening. Or maybe it’s the fact that Mother Nature has graced my little valley with above normal temperatures and sunshine. Maybe its the fact that I'm planning some fun road trips with family and friends for the upcoming months. Whatever the reason, right now, in the middle of winter, I’m incredibly optimistic. I truly believe that things are going to work out in my favor, soon. I'm genuinely happy and smiling. I'm in a completely different place this year than I was last year, which is a very beautiful thought.