Happiness Now

Today's guest post was written by *Kay from Apartment #412 and Ice Cream & Peonies.

Hi Mandy's readers! As you're probably aware, Mandy is on a much deserved week-long blogging break. I've been reading Knowing The Difference for probably over a year & it has become one of my most favourite blogs. I can say, without a doubt, that over this year Mandy has become one of my closest 'blog friends' so when she asked me if I'd contribute a post here while she's taking a break I of course agreed! I've never guest posted before (keeping both of my blogs Apartment #412 and Ice Cream & Peonies updated is a fun handful) so I stressed about what to write about for a few days & then something came to me, something I'd actually discussed with Mandy via one of our g-chats, so I wanted to share it here with you all. 

Delaying pleasure/enjoyment/satisfaction until the "perfect/right" moment. Why do we do this? We know we want to do something, achieve something, heck buy something but we wait because the moment or something - isn't “perfect.” Now, I'm not necessarily talking about big life changing decisions (though it certainly applies). I'm talking about the smaller, day-to-day things, the simple things that could bring us pleasure or joy or make our day that much more brighter. Example? Sure! For Christmas my cousin & his girlfriend bought me small portable speakers I could attach to my iPod. I loved it. I immediately thought I would put it in my bathroom so that, you know, I could create a 'shower playlist' and sing at the top of my lungs. But I didn't have the perfect spot in my bathroom - so I thought "I'll put it in my bedroom." But I don't have a dresser yet...or night tables...so I didn't have a perfect spot there either. So I left the speakers, in their box, on the floor....waiting until I had the perfect place to set it. I looked at them every day & thought how great they’d look - when I had the perfect spot. I envisioned myself getting dressed in the morning & dancing to whatever had popped up thanks to the shuffle feature. Every time I took a shower I thought "I could be listening to some Lady Gaga or Jay-Z" right now. I even went as far as putting my iPhone on speaker and putting it really close to the tub so I could try and hear the music over the shower - it wasn't working...plus I worried about getting water on it. Finally, about a week ago - I said "screw it" I put 1 speaker on the top of the toilet bowl (I have a tray on the bowl), plugged it in, connected my iPod & BLASTED music. It was the BEST. I was SO happy. "Why didn't I do this sooner?" I thought. “What was I waiting for?”

So I guess what I'm saying is: don't put off your happiness for tomorrow when you can have it today...when you can have it now. Especially if it's a little thing. Have beautiful images or artwork that you're waiting to get framed before you hang & enjoy them? Heck, tack 'em up & enjoy them now*! Waiting to lose "the last 5 pounds**" before you get that hair cut you've wanted forEVER? Come on - go for it!

Any thing(s) you can do now...today...to make you happier? Even something seemingly small (like my speakers)? I’d love to know!

*just please do eventually frame them...because, you know, it'll look better in a frame ;)

**though I am waiting until I lose "the last 15 pounds" before I buy a new wardrobe. I know, I know...

What Are We Waiting For?

Today's guest post was written by Lisa from Lisa's Yarns.

“Often people attempt to live their lives backward; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” ~ Margaret Young

This was the quote on my page-a-day calendar earlier this month; I have been mulling over it since reading it. I think many of us are guilty of this – at least I know I am. It seems like we are always living for ‘someday’.

Someday, I will rent a flat in the Marais district of Paris for a week.

Someday, I will buy new furniture – but not until I have moved out of my condo and into a house.

Someday, I will figure out which job would maximize my strengths and not keep me up at night, stressing.

The list could go on and on. There is nothing wrong with these lofty someday goals – so long as we don’t wake up at 30 or 50 or 70 and find that we haven’t accomplished them – or at least made an effort to accomplish them.

I fear that by the time I am in the position to take that trip to Paris, my lifestyle will no longer accommodate it. Maybe I will have a couple of kids at home or I will be caring for a sick parent.

When I look back in 20 years, will I still be glad that I set aside so much in savings or will I wish I had splurged and sent myself on the trip of a lifetime?

This excerpt from a forward I recently received has me thinking I won’t regret taking that trip…

“Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round?
Or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, 'How are you?'
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed?
With the next hundred chores running through your head?
Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.'
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die?
Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race. Take it slower.
Hear the music before the song is over.”

What are you doing to make sure you “hear the music before the song is over”?

Chickbug's Back, But Only For A Day

 This guest post was written by my friend, Chickbug, who so kindly came out of retirement when I asked if she would fill in for a day.

Almost three years ago I started a blog and almost three weeks ago I ended it.  And in these three weeks I have felt completely lost. It was like my best friend just disappeared without warning. Except I did have warning. I thought long and hard about the decision to stop blogging. And while I do think I made the best decision...I didn't know it would be so hard!  And so I want to take this opportunity to write mini-one sentence blogs on everything that has been floating around in my head during my blog withdrawal.

- I want to set resolutions for 2010 but I'm feeling too disconnected with myself to consider what those goals should be.

- I'm 31 and made out with a 40-year-old on NYE...what should my age limit be?

- My anxiety has come back full throttle and I have had to work hard to not feel defeated by it.

- The 40-year-old is just not that into me.

- But Stella feels like she has her groove back.

- The Hangover, Avatar, Glee and Sandra Bullock should not have won Golden Globes (in my opinion).

- I need to stop talking about how much I love my job because I feel as if it annoys people.

- Should I go back into therapy?

I miss you guys. Thanks Mandy, for letting me back into the cool crowd for a day.

On The Type of Friend I Am

Hello, it’s Amber from Girl with the Red Hair guest blogging for Mandy today!

When I think of Mandy’s blog the themes of friends and friendship really resonate with me. Maybe it’s because Mandy’s such a wonderful blog friend (probably) or maybe it’s because of her Lasting Impressions series (which I’m so excited for).

So today, I’ve decided to write about the type of friend that I think I am.

I am the type of friend who will be there for you whether you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to give you advice or just someone to listen.

I am the type of friend who will always think logically but will still occasionally go along with your craziest plan.

I am the type of friend that worries when you make some decisions, but usually will not say anything and let you go your own way.

I am the type of friend that enjoys nights in or drinks and girl talk over crazy nights at the bar.

I am the type of friend that sucks at keeping in touch, but will try my best through means like Facebook and texting.

I am the type of friend that gives hugs.

I am the type of friend that forgives too quickly.

I am the type of friend that never gets in the middle and does not enjoy drama.

I am not the type of friend that will be up for anything; if you call me last minute to go to the bar or a party I will likely turn you down. Especially if I’m already settled in for the night.

I am the type of friend that would pick you up from above mentioned bar or party when you call for a ride at 2 AM.

I am the type of friend who will try to get along with your spouse. Even if I think he’s a loser.

I am the type of friend who is quiet at first. Get to know me and you’ll see that I’m really not quiet at all.

I am the type of friend who thinks about, worries about and values all of you dearly. Even if I don’t always show it.

What type of friend are you?

All Over The Place

For the past few weeks my head and my heart have been in two different places. My head races though a multitude of projects I need to tackle,  for one reason or another my heart hasn't been up to the challenge. I've felt distracted, unsure, and even perhaps a tad bit melancholy. While I hoped and tried to chalk it up to the weather, I know thats not the only thing bothering me.

Typically when I need to sort things out my first inclination is to sit and write. Writing allows me to get my thoughts out of my head, so I can visualize what it is I'm thinking and feeling. However, it seems every time I sit down to type out  my thoughts I stare at the white, blank screen with the blinking cursor far too long before wandering off to Facebook or twitter. The words just don't come as readily as they should.  Writing is my release. In this moment however, while my head tells me I should write, my heart just isn't feeling it.

Its tough to write when your head and heart aren't in the same place. That said, I've decided to step away from my blog for a week or so. I feel like I need to regroup and refocus. I need to get my head in order. I need to release some things from my heart. But most importantly, I need to get the two reigned in, back to the same place. Thankfully, I have some wonderful friends who I called upon last week for help. They'll be sharing some of their thoughts with you over the next few days while I work on getting my head and heart cohesively functioning together instead of being at odds.

Lasting Impressions Round Two

Last year, I ran a series on the blog called "Lasting Impressions." I've been thinking its time to resurrect the series. Lasting Impressions were your stories about friendships. The series ran for several months and no two stories were alike, all were relate able.  If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know my friendships are among the most treasured relationships in my life. Lasting Impressions are stories about those people who, whether in your life for a moment or a lifetime, in some way changed your life. Maybe they are your sister, brother, significant other, a childhood friend, a mentor, a perosn who may have only come in random contact with.

I’d like to hear about your friendships. What made them stronger, what ended them? How do you celebrate your friendships? What are your favorite memories from childhood friendships? How do you define friendship? How do you deal with hard friendships? Simply anything you want to talk about regarding friendships. Friends are something that we all have and we’ve all dealt with.

Even if you submitted a story last year, would you consider writing another one? If you weren't part of the series last year, would you consider contributing this year? The posts will go up on Fridays. Once I find out who is interested, I'll make up a schedule and let you know when I would need your post submitted by.

So what do you say, who's in?

Long Distance Friends

There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound. ~Diana Cortes

I've been thinking a lot about my friendships both old and new. The people I consider my friends are those that have grown up with me in some way. Maybe they are a childhood friend. One who spent countless nights sleeping over tucked into sleeping bags and struggling to stay awake past midnight. Or maybe they are a cherished friend from my teenage years when I experienced my first heartache, celebrating high school milestones like driving around town just because we could with our newly laminated drivers licenses, and moving the tassles on our graduation caps. Then I have my beloved college friends who saw me through all nighters, semesters I thought would never end, fun nights out on the town when I drank a little too much, and stayed in touch after we all went separate ways no long living down the hall from each other. 


I have been incredibly lucky to find some amazing people through this little space I've carved out for myself here online. Friends who call to ask if everything is ok when I've been offline for a while. Friends who send text messages just telling me to have a great day. Friends I can spend hours discussing everything from the latest book we're both reading to plans or fears for the future. Most of these friends I've never met face to face but that doesn't make them any less real to me. They are friends who are growing with me as I gain the confidence to go after my dreams, the ones who encourage me to keep going when I think it would be easier to give up, the ones who email me excatly when I need a smile. They are the ones who send me text messages with funny messages that only we would understand. They are the ones who send cards in the mail when I least expect it.


My long distance friends are people I consider to be among my nearest and dearest, among those closest to my heart. They are friendships that are a bit unconventional in that they are based on reading the others innermost thoughts and emotions that a lot of us don't discuss in every day conversations. They are friendships that take more effort to maintain because often they span several states and sometimes other countries, the phone conversations and skype dates sometimes have to be planned days in advance and always leave me feeling a bit happer, my heart a little bit lighter. 


Even though I may not share every day moments like spontaneous coffee dates or marathon sessions of Rock Band, I share a different part of myself with my long distance friends. All of my friends hold a special place in my heart, but I'm realizing how important my long distance friends have become as premanent fixtures in my life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Making Me Happy

The past few weeks have been difficult. My mood has been down right gray, much like the long winter days that have settled in over my small town. I don't do cold very well; lately its become more and more evident that I need to live in a warmer climate. A place where I don't have to scrape snow and ice off my windshield on a daily basis. A place where I can actually walk outside, not just shuffle along over slush and salt.

Today the sun came out and my spirits were infinitely lifted. I've come to the conclusion seeing the sun on a nearly daily basis is vital to my existence. It makes me happy. Therefore, I'm sharing a few other things that basically made my day today:

*  Going to the card store on my lunch hour to buy some random cards to send to my friends. Sending mail when its least expected is fun for me and I hope brightens the day of the friend who receives it. I also love finding the perfect card for the perfect person. I may have laughed out loud once or twice in the store. Do I have your address to send you a card?

* While in the grocery store this song came over the speakers.
I've seen Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in concert before and this song always makes me smile. I may or may not have busted out some dance moves in the middle of the aisle. By may or may not have, I mean I totally did. Sometimes you just have to dance, even if it means strange looks from the other people buying cereal.

* Starbucks white chocolate mocha with raspberry flavoring. Enough said.

* Text messages and email exchanges with friends that just made my heart happier. A year or so ago I didn't know these great friends that I've met because of this little space on the internet and now I count them among my most trusted confidants.

* I'm currently watching The Goonies with my brother. Regardless of how many times I've seen this movie I will always stop what I am doing an watch. One of the best movies ever!

Whats making you happy today?

Sense of Direction

I have a horrible sense of direction. I’ve never been able to read a map (or fold one, but that’s another blog). If I’m away from the river I have no knowledge of north or south, and generally describe east and west as “this way” or “that way.” Knowing my lack of directional sense and fearing for my life when I once told her about getting lost in a big city, for Christmas this year my mom gave me a new GPS that has all sorts of fancy additional things it does besides just get me to where I want to go. The first thing I had to program after taking it out of the box was my home address, so at least I can rest assured that no matter how lost I get, I will always be able to find my way home.

The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling a bit lost and unsure about which direction to head. I’ve never been one for clear cut paths or pre-planned routes, instead believing in my heart that some of the best parts of the journey can be found when they are just stumbled upon. I’ve often just left myself wide open for new experiences and destinations. The past few days I find myself wishing that I had a GPS for my life. That I could plug in some coordinates, hit a few buttons like “fastest route” or “least toll roads” and my journey would be mapped out for me down to every single twist, turn, and exit ramp. On the other hand, that sounds incredible dull and I would probably feel like I was missing out on some great unknown off the beaten path.

I just know I want something different than I have now. I’m ready for it. I’m working toward that and doing the necessary things to try to get to that next step, even though I’m not exactly sure where or what direction that may lead.

I’ve always said that I don’t mind being lost, because it allows me to see things I might not have seen and end up places I might not have been. The truth is though, right now, in this very moment, that I wouldn’t mind having just a little bit of an idea where I was going.

Sledding Down The Hill On Backpacks

On the mornings of two hours delays, my childhood friend and I would bound out the kitchen door of my home, setting off for the 15 minute trek to school. Giggling would ensue at our snow pants that wooshed with each step, the heavy boots on our feet, the furry hats with ear flaps that tied under our chins. Our teasing and taunting each other muffled by the scarves wrapped tightly around necks two or thee times covering our nose and mouth.

Walking down my hill was no easy feat. The bulkiness of our snow attire gave us funny waddles as we attempted to maneuver ourselves ever so carefully down the steep terrain, shuffling along in the middle of the road between the tire tracks. It was always better to walk between the tire tracks because powered snow was better for traction than the packed down ice that would be peaking through the grayed cinders. Inevitably, one or both of us would always veer off to the left or right, our feet catching a patch of ice that would send us sliding.

One morning, the two of us decided that if we were going to slide down the hill, we might as well do it in style. At the crest of the hill, out of sight from the kitchen window I knew my mom watched us from, she and I would plunk our backpacks on the ground, one in each slick tire track. Settling ourselves down and tightly gripping the arm straps, with a few kicks of our legs we would fly down the hill. The ice glistening in the morning sunlight, trees and neighborhood houses swiftly passing our peripheral vision the two of us would tumble into a laughing heap at the foot of the hill. Our new found method of travel shaved minutes off our walk and was incredibly much more fun. A favorite childhood memory was born, often repeated every single snow delay day for the rest of my elementary school career. Those simple carefree child-like moments seem like a lifetime ago.

This week I've been distracted from everyday life and my heart has been heavy as I learned that a dear blogging friend's courageous battle with cancer is, in all likelihood, coming to an end. For the past eight months she has fought like hell with an unparalleled grace for the sake of her husband, five year old son, parents, sister, and niece. My prayers for healing have since turned to prayers of comfort and peace. My heart is breaking for her family.

Looking out the window tonight with tears in my eyes, I can see that very same hill with fresh tire tracks running through the newly fallen snow. I'm tempted to find a backpack, walk to the crest of the hill then simply sit down and slide recapturing that free feeling of rushing down the hill without a care in the world.

I can almost hear the vinyl against the icy concrete and the sound of childhood laughter hanging in the chilled air.

Put It In Second

This morning as I was attempting to navigate down my steep freshly snow covered mountain hill, I heard my grandfathers voice in my head--"Put it in second, Mandy."  My grandfather has been telling me to put my car in second gear to go down my hill for as long as I've been driving, it holds the car back so I don't have to rely on the brakes as much.

Over the years my grandfather has offered up all sorts of valuable information. Things like:

Never buy an extended warranty. (The original warranty is long enough, if it breaks after that fix it or buy a new one, things today aren't built to last like they used to be.)

Never buy a brand new car. (They depreciate in value as soon as you drive them off the lot.)

Don't pay someone for something you can do yourself.  (The man is 73 and has never paid to have his oil changed.)

Change your wiper blades twice a year. (He noticed the last time he rode with me that I didnt follow this one too well.)

It can always be fixed. (Regardless of what it is, there is always a way to repair it, even if it means making a a new part.)

Thats what Grandpap's are for. (Usually said to me after either fixing my car, helping me figure my way out of a problem, or just getting my grandma off my back about the fact that I'm not  married or with child.)

While I appreciate him for all the gems he's passed along, one of the biggest reasons I love him is for what he doesn't say. If I've ever disappointed him, he's never voiced it. If he's ever disagreed with a big decision I've made, he's never told me what I should have done. I know by his sly smile he tries to hide when I've done or said something that amuses him. I know he's proud of me by the way he stands with his shoulders back and the look in his eyes, the way they crinkle at the sides behind his glasses.

He brought me an Incredible Green Hulk sucker when I was five and had the chicken pox, because he knew that I favored the Green Hulk over the Easter Bunny. We used to spend hours at the dam and along the river looking for tennis or golf balls, I don't know why but I loved those moments. After Sunday dinner at my great grandmas house he would take my brother and I to the "beach" (which was just a gravely area along the river) to teach us how to skip stones. During my early childhood, when I spent the night, he would take me to get an ice cream cone at this little shop and let me get two scoops even though he knew I couldn't finish it. He sat through countless dance recitals, plays, honorary inductions, and graduations for me. When I went to college he never complained about lugging furniture or carrying boxes up flights of stairs to my dorm room on the top floor. Once when he found out I was throwing a party when my parents were out of town, he gave me a jug of some alcoholic concoction he'd made, telling me to "go easy" on it and have a good time. He winks at me and laughs when I ask him what he wants to drink then bring him a beer without waiting for the answer because I know my house is one of the few places he'll actually drink one. He calls me when he wants to look something up on the internet or to request that I make him peanut brittle.

I've never had to seek his approval, I just know I've always had it--steadfast and unwavering.

He's the reason I slip the car into second gear when driving down my hill on snowy days.