Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Exploration and Advancement

During this next month I’ll be taking part in Reverb10, a project about devoting some time to reflect on the past year and manifest for the year to come, to send some reverberations into 2011. I tend to become really introspective the last few months of the year, so it all seems quite fitting. There are daily prompts, some of which I’ll use, others I probably won’t, but I do hope that you will follow along. Today’s prompt is one word, choosing one word to sum up the past year and finding a word that I might want to define the next.

In the beginning I thought 2010 was going to be a big year of these huge sweeping changes. If you follow along with this blog, you know that wasn’t necessarily the case. Instead, this year was more about exploration. Not so much physical exploration (although there was a bit of that) but rather serious internal exploration.

There was profound exploration into my heart and soul, delving deep in an attempt to decipher the thoughts and feelings that have been taking shape. It left me attempting to map out a course I want to plot toward a future that’s still currently unknown. There has been a tour of what works and what isn’t going to work (probably a bit more of the latter), sacrifices I’m willing to make and those I’m not, how much work still needs to be done and what might be left for another day. I’ve explored my heart in an effort to find what makes me truly happy, how that happiness might be best achieved, and what I can do to hold on to that happiness that sometimes seems to be too quickly fleeting.

I’ve hunted down what really, truly matters to me and the sort of things I absolutely need in my future life and career– writing, creative thinking, other artistic souls. I’ve dug deep, put myself out there and explored new friendships, found people that share some of the same thoughts, ambitions, passions that I feel. I’ve explored the boundaries of some long time friendships, seeing how far they might let me grow and change or if our friendship will continue on what used to be, our pasts so intertwined that there’s no unraveling those bonds regardless of what the future holds. I’ve started to cautiously explore some familial bridges that haven’t been traversed in quite a while, lightly stepping in a surprising direction I haven’t considered for some time.

Internally exploring to keep my head, heart, and feet all in alignment.

As for physical exploration, there was some scouting out of new places and a revisiting of old stomping grounds. Digging around to see if maybe, just maybe, one of those places might be somewhere I want to further explore and possibly live. Of course there’s always the possibility that where I end up might be someplace that’s never appeared on my radar, a wholly unexplored territory I’ve never considered.

The word that I hope to define the up coming year is advancing, advancing forward with these explorations that have taken place, these dreams that have taken hold, and the thoughts that have lifted my spirit. Advancing ahead with plans to make some changes, move someplace new, find a new career to sustain me, to keep trying new things and facing my fears. Advancing the talents I've been been given to somehow make a difference in a way I don't even know yet.

To keep advancing onward to become more of the person I want to be.

What would your words be? Did you do any exploring this year or do you have any plans for advancing in the next year?