Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sometimes I...

Sometimes I think about the girl I used to be -- the one who rode her bike through the narrow streets not knowing what life was like outside the confines of her valley. The one who was perfectly content to stay out until the street lights came on running through neighbors yards chasing imaginary animals, knocking on friends doors, jumping over fences and off of stone walls.

Sometimes I recall the girl who dreamed of far off places but never gave much of thought of living any where else.

Sometimes I remember the young child who tagged along with her grandfather into his garden, never realizing that most people didn't have grandfathers who grew all their summer vegetables or had apple trees and huge family gatherings in the fall to make apple butter.

Sometimes I think about the teenager I used to be --who spent weekends in the country at bonfires with friends, who spent Friday nights at football games, and Sunday afternoons hanging around the local mall because "there was nothing else to do."

Sometimes I am reminded of the sixteen year and seventeen year old who couldn't wait to escape the confines of her small town leaving behind her family and friends to go  make a new life in some exciting far off city, to a place that had diversity, culture, and endless opportunities.

Sometimes I have a weekend where I spend Saturday with my mom -- running errands, going to a craft show, car shopping in the rain. A day where we pop into a local winery to purchase bottles of our favorite wines and then laugh at funny things over Mexican food.

Sometimes I spend hours with one of my younger cousins listening to her talk about life in middle school, as she laments about her mom doesn't understand her, and whatever else is happening in her thirteen year old life. We hit up the movie theater to take in a movie we both want to see and then after decide to split some appetizers at a local restaurant because we realize we forgot to eat dinner.

Sometimes I wonder when I realized that what I wanted wasn't to run off to the big city, leaving behind everyone I love. I wonder when I figured out that there were things to do in my small town I just had to seek them out and be creative, when I learned to appreciate my Valley for what it has instead of loathing it for what it doesn't have.

Sometimes I know that even though my small town isnt diverse or incredibly cultured, its home in every true sense of the word. I wouldn't trade time spent with my mom, hanging out with one of my cousins, or helping my grandpap for anything.

Sometimes I wonder when I became the woman who knows she's exactly where she is supposed to be and is completely at peace and happy with the life she's chosen to lead so far (but still wonders where life is going to take her).

Your turn fill in the blank, sometimes I _________________________________________.