Saturday evening found me face to face with my former best friend. I hadn't seen her since April at her grandfathers funeral and with the exception of a brief message through Facebook, I haven't spoken to her. I've made peace with the fact that our parting of ways has just been something that happened, not either one of our faults. I still miss her but accept the fact that our lives have taken us on journeys separate from each other for whatever reason. I'm happy knowing that shes happy, and thats enough for now. Despite that, I was still a bit apprehensive about seeing her.
We sat surrounded by family and friends at her grandma's kitchen table, where we've sat numerous times before. They are the seats we sat in while coloring as kids, helping her grandma make cookies, designing scrapbook pages, planning summer vacations, and drinking wine until the early morning hours. Once we carved our initals into the underside of the table on a dare from her older brothers, as I sat there listening to various conversations around me I could trace the letters with my finger.
We talked around each other without actually talking to one another. It was a hard knowing that our conversations once flowed so freely, and now other than exchanging simple plesantries we didn't have much to say to each other.
At one point we were listening to her 90 year old grandma tell us a story, one we had heard countless times. As children, that particular story once led my former friend and I to do some pretty daring things one summer that had they known, our parents surely would have killed us. As grandma wound down her story, I found myself thinking of that summer and the events that took place. A smile creeped acrossed my lips. I glanced at my friend and saw her expression, the laughter in her eyes. "Do you remember...." she asked looking at me, her voice trailing off before finishing the thought. I nodded with tears in my eyes, "Yes!" We giggled sharing a private joke.
We were instantly transported to a time before our falling out. A time before life became complicated and we went our different ways. As quickly as it came, the moment slipped away. I still don't know where this leaves our friendship but I know that the two of us still have those memories that we remember from time to time. Perhaps some day the words will flow freely between us again. We parted ways making tentative plans for lunch in the Spring when I visit her city. I don't know if they will ever actually materialize but I have hope. And if nothing else, memories.