Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Chasing And Riding Stars

Shortly after the new year, I found myself in church. While its not a place I usually seek out, it was important for me to be there. I sat in the pew, watching as my dear friend and mentor addressed her congregation for the last time. In her sermon, she spoke about chasing stars, how she had found a passing star that she felt she needed to chase down and ride for a while. This star was going to take her away from her church but she owed it to herself to follow where it led. I sat there watching my friend who I knew had been struggling with not only this decision but others in her life as well. Even though we have a generation separating us, our lives seem to have a very similar parallel these days. I listened with tears brimming in my eyes as she so eloquently summed up her feelings.


Occasionally I feel as if I am standing on a high hill, all these stars swirling around me; watching as others take a leap, tie themselves to a star, and soar off into the night sky to see where it might take them. A few weeks ago a passing star shot past me, without a moment of hesitation I instinctively reached up and latched on. At first, it was euphoric. My heart accelerated as I wildly realized all the possibilities that could be, where this particular star might take me, and how it could change so much. The ride was exhilarating. Grasping on to that star took me quickly hurtling though the sky, an emotional journey if there ever was one. I was terrified more than once but knew that I needed to keep holding on. After a few days though, I began to feel that it wasn't my star but I couldn't quite let go. This morning without any sort of fanfare, as quickly as I had reached out, the star deposited me safely back where I started, forging ahead to find its rightful owner.

I thought I would feel differently than I do, realizing that the star I had been riding wasn't my own. I thought I would feel disappointed, weary but I'm not. Riding that star for a little while changed my perspective. It lifted me upward so I could see above my own situation, above the fog I before couldn't see through, giving me a clearer vision. While riding that star I saw other stars; ones better suited for me, going in the direction I wanted to go. Now I better realize what my star is going to look like. Riding the wrong star left me feeling more energized than I have been in weeks, knowing that some where in the big wide sky is the exact star that's meant just for me.


I'm more ready than ever, patiently keeping my eyes cast upward, waiting for the precise moment my star flies by so I can reach out and grasp it with both hands. Once I'm hitched to the right star, I know without a doubt that ride will be spectacular.

26 comments:

Katie said...

So really, it was your star that you latched onto. Not exactly the star that would take you on a long-term journey of any sort. But, a star that shook you up, gave you hope, and gently laid you back down. It reminded you that you too have stars to jump on. And make sure you jump on every single star - each one will re-point you in the right direction toward your goal. Wherever that may be.

Kyla Roma said...

So beautifully described, as ever miss.

This reminds me a lot of when I started working with a web design start up. I was so, unspeakably excited. And then a little ways in I realized it wasn't at all what I needed to be doing, it wasn't the right star and I wasn't riding it with the right people, and it was so hard to let go. It involved falling a long way down.

I'm glad that yours set you back exactly where you were, and that it gave you energy to go off chasing the things that you really need. =)

nory said...

and I've no doubt that your "right" star will be along soon. And that more than likely, there will be several more right stars for you in the coming years. Sometimes we need to fly high to realize what we really do need/want/miss and that makes landing right back where we were worth it in some small way.

Lovely post, as always.

lbluca77 said...

I love that you recognized it wasn't your star. Most people don't do that and go through life with someone else's. I love this post. It is very beautifully written.

Ray said...

You described this situation beautifully, and you should feel so blessed that you are able to take this situation and discover more about yourself when many people would just end up discouraged.

MeLaNiE said...

You are an amazing writer!! I needed to read this today!

walkingonsunshine18 said...

Wow - you're an incredible writer! :)

Ally said...

That was lovely to read.

Sometimes we have to get on certain stars just to transport us to other stars. I hope you find your next one soon. :)

Adventures In China said...

What a beautiful metaphor, and experience you've shared. I'm going to remember this the next time I see a star, or feel my need to follow a path maybe someone else can't see.

I agree, you are a beautiful writer.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

this was beyond beautiful to read.

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

There are no words for how much I love this post and how beautifully it is written. You have such a talent, miss. XO

Pam said...

Whatever star you finally latch onto - will be one VERY LUCKY star. You are simply amazing Mandy. Beautiful post!!!

Kay* said...

i second & third everything everyone has said above. very well written - & when your star does come along - what a ride it'll be :)

fuchsiag said...

How beautifully written :) This reminds me of when I decided to latch on to the idea that I should be able to be a public speaker. The journey has been incredible but I've been put back down, too, with the experience from the journey leading me to a wonderful place where I'm less afraid, but okay in the knowledge that I'm not supposed to be a pubic speaker day and night. I can speak in front of people, now, but it's still less pleasant than I'd like, and I know now it's not my "star". The rides we take are incredible experiences though, and I can't wait to hear about when you find yours, and how even more incredible the journey will be.

You're a wonderful, wonderful writer :)

Elle Bee... said...

This is beautiful darling. I'm glad you had a good ride, even though the star wasn't for you. xo

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Lovely post, as always. I think it's easy for people to get down on themselves when things don't go their way. I like the idea that maybe that opportunity wasn't yours in the first place, but there is another opportunity for you out there. Somewhere. It's a very healthy way to take on the world.

jnyfritz said...

once again beautifully written! i have no doubt that many more stars will come your way!

Frank said...

Beautiful as always, Mandy. Beautiful.

amanda said...

ah, i love this. it makes life feel so magical. and i like magical things. you always hit it right on the spot, girl! you'll find your star, that i am sure of.

ps, i had a late start into work today, it was quite lovely. i hope you got to sleep in a few extra hours as well!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

This was so beautifully & eloquently written. I know what you mean - I think we all latch onto stars at certain points in our life - we think it's the right star, but it doesn't end up being the right one, but it's deposits us back in the same place, yet at the same time we are a step closer to finding our right star.

I believe in you, my dear. I know good things are going to come to you. :)

Bayjb said...

So eloquent and beautifully written. If you seen another shooting star, send it my way because I need it bad right now

Princess Pointful said...

Lovely words you have chosen. Sometimes, those stars exist just to remind us that we can be impulsive, and it will turn out just fine-- even if it isn't the 100% right choice.

L.C.T. said...

Gosh how stunningly worded. Beautiful.

Stephany said...

This was so beautifully written and I find this to be so, so true in my own life. For years, I was riding the "teacher" star where I thought my path was to educate the younger generation and show them how to ride their own stars. It's not, but I won't regret the path I took on that star and how it led me to the star I'm riding on now. :)

Manderz said...

Beautiful. Inspiring. Your writing leaves me speechless.

Ohmygoshi said...

I'm such a terrible commenter, but I really do read all your posts! This one was so poignant and beautiful. It's so easy to get caught up on everyone else's journeys and stars, that it becomes almost impossible to focus on your own! Your star will come, and it will be everything you could have ever hoped for and more. <3