Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sense of Direction

I have a horrible sense of direction. I’ve never been able to read a map (or fold one, but that’s another blog). If I’m away from the river I have no knowledge of north or south, and generally describe east and west as “this way” or “that way.” Knowing my lack of directional sense and fearing for my life when I once told her about getting lost in a big city, for Christmas this year my mom gave me a new GPS that has all sorts of fancy additional things it does besides just get me to where I want to go. The first thing I had to program after taking it out of the box was my home address, so at least I can rest assured that no matter how lost I get, I will always be able to find my way home.

The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling a bit lost and unsure about which direction to head. I’ve never been one for clear cut paths or pre-planned routes, instead believing in my heart that some of the best parts of the journey can be found when they are just stumbled upon. I’ve often just left myself wide open for new experiences and destinations. The past few days I find myself wishing that I had a GPS for my life. That I could plug in some coordinates, hit a few buttons like “fastest route” or “least toll roads” and my journey would be mapped out for me down to every single twist, turn, and exit ramp. On the other hand, that sounds incredible dull and I would probably feel like I was missing out on some great unknown off the beaten path.

I just know I want something different than I have now. I’m ready for it. I’m working toward that and doing the necessary things to try to get to that next step, even though I’m not exactly sure where or what direction that may lead.

I’ve always said that I don’t mind being lost, because it allows me to see things I might not have seen and end up places I might not have been. The truth is though, right now, in this very moment, that I wouldn’t mind having just a little bit of an idea where I was going.

21 comments:

jnyfritz said...

being able to fold a map is over rated! and sometimes i think a gps for life would help, but i know how they work and they tend to push you in a direction that you do not necessarily want to go in, i would stick with the heart route! i KNOW it will lead you in the right direction!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Stay focused and you'll get to where you want to be. Or maybe you'll see something along the side of the road that catches your fancy and you'll decide to stop there for a while. Whatever your path, I have no doubt it will be interesting, pensive and quite the journey!

walkingwithnora.com said...

Lisa D and I have often talked about having crystal balls to forecast the future so that we don't have to wonder and worry sometimes.

Even though I suppose that's not the brave way to go, it would just be nice to see the goal in action, not know how we got there, you know!?

Deutlich said...

i think a lot of us in this age group feel exactly like that.

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

I really find myself wishing I knew what was next, what choices to make, what to do...but I'm trying to enjoy the journey, the messy and the unknown as it unfolds. Good luck as you chart your new path. xo

Elle Bee... said...

You'll find your way, doll. And we'll be here to support you along your path. xo

P said...

I know how you feel. I have no sense of direction while walking around and none in real life either. Don't have a clue what I'm doing.

The thing is though, I REALLY don't want to be lost. I'd rather get straight where I'm going and miss the detours than have to wander around aimlessly, worrying, in the meantime.

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

I'm the SAME way, Eric will always tell me something is North or South and I will yell, "you know I don't know which way that is!"

I've also been feeling like I'm kind of on the right path but also like I'm lost lately. Some days I feel good about where life is headed and other days I feel like I'm lost and drowning. I hope we both find our way soon :)

thatShortChick said...

I have been feeling this way for a while now. I just...don't know what to do next. or what I'm waiting on/for.

I'm trying to take everything one day at a time but, it's during the evening when the flood of emotions rush in and then I'm just helpless.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I totally know what you mean. I would just like a sneak peek of where I will end up. Just a glimpse to tell me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not that my world is dark right now, but I still feel very uncertain about what my future holds.

We'll eventually end up where we need to be. We just need to be patient which is so freaking hard to do. and I am terrible at dealing with uncertainty. :(

Oh, and I am also horrible with directions. Once my aunt asked me which way my condo faced. I said, 'the pool.' She said - no what direction? North? South? I had no idea. Still don't. I would probably have to call and ask my dad!

chickbug said...

If I'm not happy with something in my life, I'm the first person to come up with a plan. It is good and bad. Because if things don't happen according to my great "plan" I get frustrated and disappointed. But it's all about living in the moment...right? Plans and directions are sometimes overrated. =)

Bayjb said...

You'll get where you want and need to be. Sometimes jumping and heading out without a map is a great thing, even if you crave that stability. As much as I wish for a life GPS, sometimes, giving in to the unknown is exciting.

Ashley said...

I felt that way for a very long time and now that I have some direction, I still have no idea how things will work out. But, I know the best way to find your direction is to start walking--just like you're doing. If it's not right, you'll know and you'll turn around and go another way.

Adventures In China said...

A GPS for life is a brilliant idea! If you build this, I will definitely be a customer.

I know I don't know you, but from your writing, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and a good heart. Those two things mean you'll be successful whatever you path you find yourself on. I wish you all the best in your journey. And I can't wait to hear about it here!

emily-jane.net said...

I've felt lost at so many points in my life, and looking back there's always been a surprise turning I hadn't expected. Things just tend to work out that way, and I'm sure you'll find yourself on a path meant for you, whether it's to lead you to where you're meant to be, or to teach you lessons along the way. Have faith and you'll end up in the right place - just remember to enjoy and learn things from the journey that takes you there :)

EP said...

I felt the same way before I left my last job. Now, I feel like I'm in the right place, but I still don't know where I'm heading.

And I think a lot of people our age feel the same way..

clearandcomplex said...

I have a feeling you'll find your direction without even realizing it. As generic and cheesy as this sounds...not knowing is half the fun! Keep your chin up lady :)

LBluca77 said...

That's good you are focused on finding something different, even if you are not sure what it is. I bet you the something different you are looking for that you don't even know you were looking will pop up when you least expect it.

Good luck.

gemmy from the block said...

that's totally frustrating, and i know how you feel. try dabbling in a few things to see what strikes your interest...and holds it! you never know where you might find inspiration

Kyla Roma said...

I haaaaate that feeling miss, but I know you will come out of this beautifully! And at the same time, it's worth mentioning that most of the time, the map is just in our heads & isn't real (or respected) anywhere else- deciding to be happy in the small moments can be just as good of a road map.

It's just hard, is all =)

probablytabitha.com said...

I've been feeling pretty much the same way lately. We'll get through it...and yes, the time of being "lost" will provide us with tons of memories to cherish -- I'm sure of it. :-)