I have a horrible sense of direction. I’ve never been able to read a map (or fold one, but that’s another blog). If I’m away from the river I have no knowledge of north or south, and generally describe east and west as “this way” or “that way.” Knowing my lack of directional sense and fearing for my life when I once told her about getting lost in a big city, for Christmas this year my mom gave me a new GPS that has all sorts of fancy additional things it does besides just get me to where I want to go. The first thing I had to program after taking it out of the box was my home address, so at least I can rest assured that no matter how lost I get, I will always be able to find my way home.
The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling a bit lost and unsure about which direction to head. I’ve never been one for clear cut paths or pre-planned routes, instead believing in my heart that some of the best parts of the journey can be found when they are just stumbled upon. I’ve often just left myself wide open for new experiences and destinations. The past few days I find myself wishing that I had a GPS for my life. That I could plug in some coordinates, hit a few buttons like “fastest route” or “least toll roads” and my journey would be mapped out for me down to every single twist, turn, and exit ramp. On the other hand, that sounds incredible dull and I would probably feel like I was missing out on some great unknown off the beaten path.
I just know I want something different than I have now. I’m ready for it. I’m working toward that and doing the necessary things to try to get to that next step, even though I’m not exactly sure where or what direction that may lead.
I’ve always said that I don’t mind being lost, because it allows me to see things I might not have seen and end up places I might not have been. The truth is though, right now, in this very moment, that I wouldn’t mind having just a little bit of an idea where I was going.