Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Glorious Debris

Earlier today Chickbug posted this quote on her blog. It was absolutely something I needed to read at the moment.

"Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life.
A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of job...
And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute,
driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore.
To be hopeful, to embrace one possibility after another--that is surely basic instinct...
Crying out: High tide!
Time to move out into the glorious debris.
Time to take this life for what it is."
~Barabra Kingsolver, from High Tide in Tucson

Lately I've been feeling the strong need for a change, which is completely unlike me. Sure every once in a while I get a desire to move to a different part of the country, cut my hair all off, or do something equally drastic without completely thinking it through. That feeling may last a few days, then quickly passes, allowing me to happily go on perfectly content with the way things are. This time though that feeling isn't going away so quickly.

The beginnings of the stirring within me started a few months ago, when I decided practically on a whim to apply to graduate school. I was ecstatic to be accepted into the program, but then I found out that I won't be able to take online classes till January 2010. I am still really excited about staring school, but waiting that long isn't satisfying this insistant urging for something different.

The more I think about this feeling, the more I want an adventure. Something to scare the bejesus out of me. Give me an adrenaline rush. Something to put the wind back into my sails and lead me somewhere I never imagined. I deserve this. We all deserve this.

Life is messy, chaotic, heartbreaking and absolutely amazing. One of the most beautiful aspects of life is that we never know where one decision will take us, what doors it will open, what changes it may bring about if we let it. Change is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. Moving out into the "glorious debris" is hard, but it simply must be done. I want to "embrace one possibility after another."

Now, who's with me?

20 comments:

chickbug said...

i'm so happy the quote spoke you, as it did me. =)

kay* said...

wow- you couldn't be any more in my thoughts...change is exhilirating & terrifying...trying to let myself know that it is okay to be a bit...afraid? but to not let that feat stop
me from pursuing new opportunities & experiences.

LBluca77 said...

Change is defiantly scary but the scary part only lasts for a little but then it is completely exciting and always worth it.

wekeepsaying said...

definitely. j and i are talking about moving to my family's cottage in wisconsin so we can save some money. but this entails moving him out of his hometown (new york city) and the place he's grown up in to a place he only knows of because of me. we've had a few very serious discussions about it and he's so scared he said it's about as scared as he would be of us breaking up or something going wrong between us, which just puts a punch in my gut.

i know this is something i want to do, that i need to do, to move forward, whether or not he decides it's the right thing for him. i only hope that we will be able to work through it and soldier on together, rather than apart, because that would break my heart into a billion pieces and i wouldn't even know where to begin picking them up again.

Fritz said...

Pick Me!! i am starring down a huge change right now, but i could go for more, always up for an adventure!

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Every time something big happens in my life I feel an insane need for change. For me it's usually really a need to get away from my typical life, sometimes a trip or a new tattoo, but it all came back anew with my recent break up. I decided to buy new furniture, get a new tattoo, rejoin the gym etc. etc. I need change and big time.

Kyla Roma said...

I'm definitely on the same page as you, I've just applied to an HR management program and am looking for a lower key job for the next year and a half.

I'm tired of being urged to stay in a bad workplace because of stability on my resume. I'm excited to specialize a little more and to take an adventure along the way.

nory said...

Ah, as you know this couldn't come at a better time. I just need to wake up and do something about it. The question is: what? I am not sure. I need to figure that out. =)

jill marie said...

I am WITH you, Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Sounds like you need to jump in your car and drive. Drive where your heart takes you. Explore areas you've never visited before. Grab a buddy or go alone. But, take a few days to get out of your comfort zone!

Jess said...

This is great! Go do something awesome! And then report back.

Frank said...

Meeeeee!

Little Fish said...

The title of this post is beyond fabulous!!! I am so proud of you for knowing that you need a change and going for it. I know that following this path will lead to great things for you!

amanda said...

right behind you, love muff.

amanda said...

ps...2010 will be here before you know it!

Ashley said...

I'm with you, Mandy. Except, I think I'm looking less for an adventure (my life seems a little too up in the air right now) and more for exciting people. I've become very isolated. I live in a tiny liberal academic bubble. I need to break that bubble.

I hope you find an adventure!

Auburn Kat said...

I definitely am with you on this one! Seriously, it would be awesome if we ended up in the same place...which means you better be applying to NYC! =)

Lady Jane said...

I couldn't have said it any better!!

PrincessB said...

Found your blog through Nilsa's. Love this post and the quote which I am going to steal from you, if that's ok. I did every one of those things in the same year...and still I crave change. I have a leap on the horizon that will be life changing and am scared as well....but it will be amazing too. Good luck with yours!

Bayjb said...

This is a great quote, as always. Two of the biggest and scariest decisions I ever made happened in college and I know without a doubt I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't have the courage to make them.

Thank you so much for guest posting for me! Your post was so wonderful and I'm honored you guest blogged for me :)