Monday, March 02, 2009

More Reasons You Should Not Trust Me With Your Children and Some Randomness

As if I haven't already given you enough reasons to never leave your children with me. Let me give you some more....

  • Tonight I came home to an empty house, but a M-E-S-S. In our living room we have two couches and a chair. Theoretically that should mean 7 places to sit ones ass. Yeah, no. Barbies, stuffed animals, little plastic rattlers, hair thingys. It was like the cheap toy aisle in Walmart vomited all over the place. So I took 15 minutes and cleaned it up all the while grumbling about 'effing kids and their damn parents, like some bitter old childless person.
  • Then I went into the kitchen. There was the sink piled high with sippy cups, bottles, half empty cereal bowls, and plates with god knows what stuck to them with remnants of ketchup and ranch dressing. Apparently we're running a bed and breakfast where you dont have to clean up after yourselves or do the dishes. After a shot of Jack swigged straight from the bottle, I tackled the dishes all the while mumbling several choice swear words about 'effing kids and their 'effing parents who were home the whole. entire. day.
  • While talking on the phone to a friend this evening, I was rude (sorry Jen) and cut her off mid sentence because I saw this....


Yeah, those would be just a few of the 40 some odd ladybug stickers on to my dresser. Can you just guess how PISSED I was? You dont even want to know what I said. You can ask Jen, she'll tell you. In the midst of my anger, I did think to stop and take pictures.

  • In a completely unrelated kid happening in the past few days. On Friday I was watching a friends children (11 and 8). I love her kids and they are just plain awesome (because you know, they can go to the bathroom on their own and verbalize what they want). The 11 year old daughter and I had been baking cookies, dancing around, etc. She went to the bathroom and came back into the kitchen. She told me she was bleeding. Without giving it any thought, I told her put a bandaid on and she would be fine. She rolled her eyes and said "no...I mean, I think I got my period." Ohhhhh, of course it was her first time. What did I do? Made sure she knew where to find a pad, explained to her the importance of midol and chocolate, gave her an Obama fist bump and said "welcome to the club." How else should I have handled it?
Yeah, its a wonder I'm allowed to be left unsupervised with children. Little Fish, its probably a good idea to just have Aunt Mandy admire your kids from afar until they are at least 12. =)

In order to escape the madness that is my house. I went shopping over the weekend. My latest obsession is scarves. I never thought I could wear them, but then I learned that I can totally rock the scarf. I bought myself the turquoise and the dark purple in addition to the pink one I already had. They are lightweight, crinkley, and yes I did Google "different ways to wear a scarf." LOVE them!



And finally, because this post hasnt been random enough. My family friend had surgery today. The surgery went well, the doctors were very pleased and they were able to leave more of his leg then they originally thought. Thank you ALL for your thoughts and prayers. They mean so much!

Enjoy the rest of your week! While I am trying to avoid kids and annoying parents, there are some fabulous guest bloggers that will be providing you with some great posts!

11 comments:

LBluca77 said...

haha This post was hilarious. I love how you took a shot of Jack right from the bottle in order to deal with this situations. That is the kind of mom I will be, a drunk one.

Maris said...

I'm glad that your family friend's surgery went well.

Pretty scarves! I bet they'll look great!

Auburn Kat said...

Glad to hear the surgery went good!!!

Yeah, I don't always do so well with out of town guests!!!

I love the scarves! I really need to buy some that are NOT winter scarves!

jnyfritz said...

and those stickers dont even look like the kind you can peal off easy and not have anything remaining! you were right, that was totally blog worthy!!

i am very relieved to hear your friends surgery went well, you and him are in my thoughts and prayers!

Kylie said...

Haha!! Other peoples kids are the only ones to have. I swear!! I'm so not ready to have my own...don't know if I'll ever be ready really! Yea for your friends surgery going well! Hope it's a speedy recovery!!

Have a great week!!

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

OMG I would say those kids need a serious spanking, but obviously its the parents that actually do.

Katie said...

this is hysterical! i have also muttered choice words in reference to kid activities. my best friend has a 1 year old, whom i love...until he SCREAMS in the phone. uff.

not to be totally nosy, but where did you get those gorgeous scarves??? i really want one of those lightweight type scarves, but don't want to pay a ton of $ for them...

rock the scarf! i love them!

Trina G. said...

I'm into scarves lately too. Since I saw the yellow sari that Latika is wearing in Slumdog Millionaire....I have to have one. I looked yesterday for the "perfect" one and no go. Maybe I'll get luckier today.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Let the physical healing commence! Glad to hear the surgery went better than expected!

Bayjb said...

SO glad to hear the surgery went well. You seriously crack me up about the stickers because I am the SAME way. I would be raging pissed.

Kat said...

I don't blame you for wanting to strangle those kids AND the mom, they're nuts! Cute scarves! Oh and I think you handled the period situation quite well :)