Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My Cup Runneth Over

Yes, thats right. My cup runneth over. No, not my soda cup or my proverbial cup (although I am very blessed). No today I am talking about my bra cup. I am a very, very well endowed gal and I love my boobs. Really, I do.

I have the greatest cleavage of anyone I know. This has gotten me both welcomed and unwelcomed attention over the years. Its welcomed when I get out of a speeding ticket or when I go to a bar and don't have to buy drinks. Its unwelcomed when I am wearing a shirt that completely covers up the girls and men still can't look at my face. But overall having big boobs isnt a bad thing at all. I can use them to balance things on when I need an extra hand. When going to a concert and there is a "no camera rule"-- no problemo! Down the cleavage goes the camera, smuggled past security and my friends and I end up with great pics to clutter our myspace and facebook pages. Two beer rule at concerts? Again not a problem. Go thru the line get two beers, duck around a corner, shove them down the cleavage, adjust the shirt, hit up another beer line, grab two more beers. No place to stick a pen, not enough hands to hold silverware and balance a plate going thru the food line at Grandmas, need a a place to rest your beer while singing karaoke? Again, cleavage to the rescue!!

cleavage


But back to my cup running over. Today the horrible happened. My underwire snapped. Now when your underwire snaps there is typically one or two ways it breaks. Sometimes its just a daintly little "ka-tink" or it sounds like a .22 going off. Mine? Totally sounded like a loaded shot gun. I was bent over at a filing cabinet and apparently the underwire couldn't withstand the pressure. Luckily, I was alone so no one ducked under desks, hid behind copiers or grabbed procedural manuals and covered their heads thinking we under enemy fire. But for the remainder of the day, the girls were, well, slightly lopsided and overflowing the cup. Thank goodness I had a sweater so it wasn't so noticeable. The worst part was dealing with the broken underwire, which if if you have ever experienced, you know its a pain quite literally. However, it did give me an excuse to do some shopping when I got home from work and a gal can't go wrong with "buy 2, get 2 free" AND free shipping!

9 comments:

Kim said...

I've had two underwires break in the past two weeks. Do you think it's time for me to hit up the sale you are talking about?? :)

Andy said...

You lucky girl. My breasts are normal-sized but they're far apart from each other. Which makes them look not as good as I wish. Bu then again, nothing a $40 Wonderbra can't solve. With that solved, cleavage can get you many many many pros.

But if there's a thing I've learned, is that latin men are into butts. And there, it's not for being narcissist, I'm quite well endowed.

Bayjb said...

wow that's insane. I've never had one break loudly or dramatically. That's crazy. I do like the idea of using them to balance items. I totally stuff my ID and cash down there when we go out too.

Mandy said...

Kim -- yes, go shopping. LOVE that sale.

Andy -- Thanks for the hint about Latin men, I'll file that away for future use.

Babyjb -- Balancing is a must and I do the ID and cash too when out on the town. I laugh when I see my friends struggling to try to keep track of their bags.

Rachel said...

BUY 2 GET 2 FREE WITH FREE SHIPPING???!!!! Where do you shop?!

My problem with underwires is that they pop out on the cleavage side, so I have a spear just waiting to impale me...very uncomfortable.

I also enjoy hiding things in the twins (no purse/pockets? license fits nicely! They also can hold a lens cap and money)....though there are times I don't realize that I am, go to take off a shirt and things start raining down....

RebeccaC said...

Oh I feel your pain honey. I'm 5' tall, 110 lbs and have a 36D cup. I've not had a bra breakdown in quite some time, but most of my friends find it intriguing/hilarious that I wear 2 sports bras whenever I go for a run. It might be difficult to breathe but these mamas aren't going anywhere.
Hope you got some cute new stuff during your shopping spree!

P.S. When you're smuggling beers, are they bottle or draft? I totally get bottle, but if they're draft, you've lost me girl!

Sissy said...

whoa....they DO come in handy for you!

I haven't had an underwire break, but they underwire always breaks through the bra on the cleavage side. One time, I didn't realize it, and I was talking to a client, and realized it was about 4 inches UP from my shirt!! embarrassed.

Sexy eh??? LOL

Veronica said...

haha, I know your joy/pain...I'm built like Rachel, but on a smaller body =/ I have to use two of what my dad calls 'industrial strength' sports bras any time I work out. and I have left many a bra casualty in my wake....

and I second Rachel on her shopping question. I'm broke, I need to know where to get cheap clothes! =)

Mandy said...

Rachel and Veronica-- Lane Bryant, one of the few places I can decent bras that dont cost me a small fortune.

RebeccaC--when smuggling its always bottles. LOL.

sissy-thankfully that has never happened to me...