Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Door Close

You know the little round (or not) seemingly harmless button in an elevator with the words "door close"; the one right next to the little round one that says "door open." Seriously, my favorite button in the elevator is the "door close" button! In the mornings upon arriving at work completely un-caffeinated (which is not a good thing for me), I take sick pleasure in hitting the door close button and enjoying a few minutes in quiet solitude before beginning my day. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some people I don't mind riding the elevator with. People, who like me, find incomprehensible jargon severely annoying, people who don't fully wake up until 9:30 or 10:00, people who nod and mutter "Morning", these are the people I love to ride the elevator with. These people, I will gladly hold the elevator for. With these people, I don't have to come up with mindless chatter. I can lean my head against the elevator wall and wish I was still in bed or on an warm tropical island. With these people I can freely be myself.

These people are members of the "door close" button club too! We're a slightly rebellious bunch. Often throwing a sly sneer or a contemptuous glance over our shoulder as we slide into the elevator and promptly hit the "door close" button causing the doors to close mere centimeters from your hand, out reached to trigger the motion sensor forcing the door back open. Once inside, we feel a twisted sense of pride knowing that you have to wait for another ride. Rude? Yes. Unethical? Sure. Do I feel bad about it? Not in this lifetime.

I don't always hit the "door close" button. But some people in particular, I just can't deal with them in the mornings. The lady with the extremely annoying accent (and apparently needs a hearing aid) who follows every statement said with a loud "HAAAAH?" The man with the loud (very loud) voice who feels the need to fill the silence with useless facts and statistics. The lady who gushes about her child the genius who said first words. In all honestly, I have very little tolerance for these sorts of antics first thing in the morning. That’s why whoever thought to put the "door close" button in the elevator is one of my hero’s.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow, that's funny! I don't know if I'd purposefully close the door on someone, but I'm definitely not waiting around for slowpokes when I need my coffee. :)